I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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