Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
