There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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