If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
