batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize