My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
