I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
