I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
40s are totally the cure
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
