Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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