you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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