I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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