Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
