I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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