Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
