So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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