I just made out with a guy for $7.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
honey bunches of taint.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
