I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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