nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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