So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
