I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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