just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
