careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
