Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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