Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Can I color on your dick again?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
