so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I need moral support for this bender
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize