Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
