I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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