i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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