i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize