am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
