At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
