Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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