are you still at the devil's house?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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