Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize