I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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