I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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