i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
