I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
