So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize