dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
