Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
