you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It was confusing and full of hummus
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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