do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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