found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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