so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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