don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
