Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
