If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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