she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We have started to decorate penises.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
