I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
