so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
