if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
