i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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