can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
