Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
