i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
