I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
