Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
