Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
