I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
