happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
