So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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