omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
All I want is dick and wine.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
