It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
