I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
