belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
