Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
