He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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