so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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