The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
