ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
