It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
