I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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