she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
