That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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