hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
