Porn is love you can see.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
