fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
